Underneath the Frozen Sky
by wakaru
Summary: Sitting in the piled office Hitsugaya discovers an empty notebook amongst the pile of paper and decides to rid the troubles in his mind and decides to leave it where humans can find. Full with the ultimate crack. Review to the Great Dragon of the sky :D


Underneath The Frozen Sky

12/12/09

For those who stumbled upon this handwritten book, you are about to discover the vital facts of the disturbances of my life and probably the rest of soul society and among that jumble are the mere annoyances I find daily. Laugh at my sarcasm while you still can. It may range from the people I see to the things I find interesting. It may contain a wide range of language not suitable for children, so those that understand what I am saying, put this book down and speak about it to no one.

I, Hitsugaya Toshiro, have plenty of reminiscing to do. Unfortunately, my lazy lieutenant, Rangiku Matsumoto, is greatly defined as extremely lazy. Leave me here to do the mountain of work why don't you, I have to forge her signature all the time too. Why is it that sometimes I feel like the lieutenant wearing my captain's haori?

How does a captain get bored enough to write something so ridiculous and not so important? Isn't obvious, if you where I stand, which at about four feet ten, you'd see the difference in perspective. Besides the fact that I'm vertically challenged, have you seen my office? EXACTLY, the damn paper work covers everyone and everything in it! There are those times when someone calls out my name and I try to say something but they can't see me, so they leave the room. How retarded can people get? Then again if Matsumoto would lend a hand than getting drunk all the time I wouldn't have this problem.

But what the hell am I suppose to do about it, I'm seen as a little child that is naive in every single way possible. That's a lie and it's not like I don't have a life! My mind as been contaminated by the shit under Ichigo's bed any way. God, how does Rukia stand living in his closest? Please don't even ask why in the world would I be under Ichigo's' bed.

Since we are on the not so important matter of Ichigo, Some one came up to me today, a meek child probably. I wonder how that child passed away. Wait, back on topic, I realized that one plus five equals strawberry; that child bought it and left me alone. Ichigo in a sense needs mental help. Who would be stupid enough to jump head first into danger and potentially get them self killed? Ichigo would probably be the first one on ANYONE's list. Though, I should just be thankful that Ichigo isn't dead, or he'll be appointed to captain status. The though of seeing him almost everyday as a captain just kills my brain, he would probably even do worst than Matsumoto, that's saying something. Oh, don't get me wrong, I respect Matsumoto, she is just lazy.

Just now Matsumoto is looking at me strangely for a second there, she and everyone else probably thinks I am doing work. Back to the fool, I am not sure if I should call it luck or some abnormality that Ichigo is alive after everything he has been through. He was impaled by the sixth division so many times I can hardly count. Humans are so amusing, or some of them at least. But yeah, he is pretty lucky to survive. Then again, I rather not have him truly die.

On the other hand, he might land else where far away from all of us, he is annoying beyond all comprehension. How many times do I have to tell him "IT'S CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA!" If I had a nickel for every time I scream at him for calling me Toshiro, I would be a rich little boy. But no one has many nickels. That's almost as annoying compared to how he likes to ruffle my hair. For god's sake, I'm older than you! So much older that I can be your great, great, great, great, great GRANDPA! If I had no dignity, like some people, I would freeze his arm into oblivion.

What else is there, Ichigo has that strange power, he changes people. In some ways people would pay to hit him where it hurts and some praise him for his kindness. Honestly, I have no idea where I stand in the scale, probably somewhere in the middle of the bunch. There are just some times I do want rid him of his baby making machines. Some one shoot me for saying that. Have I told you that there is nothing worst than having sex education via a drunk Matsumoto and her friends. Nothing worst. Well actually, yes there is, when Ichigo is a part of it and there are times when I am forced to sit down and drink with them. If you add everyone else it would be a big happy party, I didn't think so.

Of course there are all the good facts about Ichigo, though I doubt it balances out the negative that you don't see behind the scenes. There is a bounty of things that you haven't seen, yet I wish I have never discovered them. An example of which is his art skill, about the same with Rukia, which limit to bunnies and deformed stick figures. They should take an art class together. Or let me teach them how its done.

Besides all that, that guy is pretty damn persistent, he never listens to me then again not many people listen to the Great Hitsugaya! I hope all those people die off soon, that would be a site to see. Half of the world gone in a blink of an eye. Back to the subject of the matter, Ichigo needs to learn to follow orders, stop is to stop! It's like training an old dog new tricks, they don't always learn.

I think I should be getting back to the real paper work, Matsumoto looks like she is questioning my actions. "Why are you smiling Hitsugaya Taicho?" I didn't really realize it. I'd be stashing this book somewhere around. To whom that may find this, speak a word out to anyone and I will freeze you ass into the next century. Make sure you leave in the same spot you find it after writing in it. If I find it missing, I hunt you down and feed you to my Hyorinmaru, no matter who you are or how noble you live your life. Understand?

Maybe next time I'll rant on about how Matsumoto and her drinking buddies hide their stash of sake in my closet. Or perhaps write something more interesting. By the way, give me some suggestions about what you want to hear from me or something that would spark my interest in you humans, or whatever you may be.

Oh wait, it's about eight or seven days until my birthday, depends on when you have a chance to read this. I swear if Matsumoto and Ukitake tries to pull another room full of candy again, I am going to choke someone. So find some thing better than little trinkets, I get enough of that daily anyway.

Until I feel like retrieving this book again, Hitsugaya Toshiro bid you all a goodfarwell.


End file.
